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The Darkness Before Dying

by Separatum

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1.
besieged, I cannot escape waiting in horror, writhing in pain watching me, waiting for me to fall digging deeper into the vein this frozen blackness, void of the soul swallowing the stars of hope I am dying in this fetid hole this stinking pit of sorrow alone the light has long gone from here sunless and without redemption a landscape of trauma made flesh the inescapable cold of death in the dark they speak to me closing in, I cannot breathe I cannot speak, I cannot see surrounding me, commanding me whispering all alone with the wraiths that are haunting me
2.
phasing in and out of existence, into a dream a lifeless mirror image of reality nothing to believe in, no healing in time a bitter taste on the tongue of infinity cold hopeless spirit – wounded, empty, bled from within this insurmountable gorge no god can hear my cry for freedom completely abandoned in silence and stillness With only the ghosts that compel me to penance I am now only a husk hollowed by the bores of sorrow shifting through the halls of grief, hiding from tomorrow there are no doorways into another life there are no windows from which to see the sky only an exit through which the wind blows cold freedom is a cage, choice is a lie
3.
hidden under cover of dark, nighttime sky and earth in the chambers of nightmare the tormented wept cycles of pain and unending sorrow slain once more by the memories I have kept bodies laid to rest a mirror awakened in distress I am not the master of my mind their cries grow stronger in time their tears are mine oh, to die again and again once beloved, now an echo of my sins reflected in the waters of dreams nothing as it seems falling through the portals into another place an inferno of aberrance and grief-stricken souls dismembered by the blade of ashes and dusk his mouth agape, a scream, and an absence of hope no...not again...
4.
as empty as an echo from a distant shore nothing is left, and I am no more left bare by a promise of what could have been the truth was a lie, this is the end there is nothing more for you to take from me there is nowhere I can run where I can be free who I was is gone away, only bitterness remains no progression, never growing, forever unchanged I have never felt the warmth of the light stolen away from the womb into the night there is only one nepenthe that I can grasp that this day be my last I do not want to die, but I do not have a choice deafening madness has stolen my voice will there be solace for me beyond the veil? Or will there be a new sea of agony to sail? empty... nothing left...
5.
not even a wisp of the faintest umbra haunts these halls now void of life far from the Darkness in the Time before Dying death hides away her merciful eyes tonight...
6.
the walls no longer hum their song of home silent and cold, timber and stone a world of gray, where only distance grows the dead leaves fall, old and alone echoes of grief flutter in the autumn sun collapsing and falling, weakened and numb forsaken in this storm of sorrow ashes in my hand, what once was tomorrow memories of life pass through the winter sky laughing and weeping, saying their goodbyes not one whisper from the coldest ghost in this house devoid of hope the purest darkness before my death to be the last one left walking in silence from room to room I am adrift in this fog of emptiness no one is here... none of this is real, no one is here to starve of meaning and die in isolation starve and die...

about

An Opus for the Fleeting Hope of the Living in Six Parts.

All parts conceived and performed by AURANVM.

The cover image for this record was taken at Olinger Eastlawn Cemetery in Aurora, Colorado.

In Memory of D.H. and G.G.

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released November 2, 2021

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Separatum Colorado

Separatum is solely dedicated to the exploration of the Human Mind as it wanders through the fog of bereavement.

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